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There are many types of relationships, and they take place in a variety of contexts, like work, home, communities, churches, friends and family. Here we focus on important and challenging relationships: Relationships with parents, and with partners and spouses. We also have a section on abusive relationships. In all good relationships you should feel positivism, confidence, love and a sense of comfort about yourself. Dr David Viscott, M.D., wrote a great book on How to Make Winning Your Lifestyle.
This quintessential book contains different sections on how to win in diverse situations, and has particularly interesting sections on how to win in relationships with relatives, marriage and kids. A definite one to read! Partner relationships
Many people are too shy to date, much less to date online. But as a US$400 million industry and growing at an exponential rate, more and more people are finding that this is a great avenue to meet people and a great way to search for their other half. Technology has come a long way and so has relationships – the advent of the internet saw the rise of internet couples who met through email and other communication and networking tools including ICQ, MSN and Facebook. If you feel you are not meeting enough people, not meeting the right kind of people, or are unable to look beyond your comparatively small social circle, then why not try online dating. Try something different! Expand your options! Give yourself and others a chance! See this as a chance to improve yourself by trying something new. You will find a list of useful sites below, depending on your location: 1. US and Canada-based dating sites
2. Canada-only dating site
Other dating sites: 3. Chinese dating site
4. Philippines dating site
Join Filipino FriendFinder - Find Your Special Someone!
5. Korean dating site
6. International dating site
Please note that we do not advocate flirting or finding casual relationships online – this could turn out to be dangerous and very, very costly. Therefore you will not find links to flirting or casual dating sites here. Use the qualified links provided above to access these professional online dating companies only if you are looking for a partner for a serious relationship that is right for you.
A relationship bound by holy matrimony is one of the most difficult to manage because both parties are so close. Often, emotions overcome our ability to think rationally, facts become distorted, and spur-of-the-moment comments are taken too seriously. At times, misunderstandings turn into personal attacks, while unresolved issues or lingering feuds are just waiting to blow up. Did I marry the right man? Read this article here. Some tips for your marriage: 1. Trust your spouse: Always try to give him or her the benefit of the doubt. Remember that trust is the bedrock of any marriage. 2. Give each other personal space and time: Everyone is entitled to their own secrets, you and your spouse included. Don’t always probe into every little unimportant detail like “where were you this afternoon between three and three-thirty?” or “How many girlfriends did you have in high school?” It is annoying and will do little to change your life or marriage. Always give each other some personal space to do their own little things, and to have some private time to themselves doing something they like – alone or with their friends. 3. Talk about it! – If either spouse feels unhappy about things it is important to talk things out, keeping it all bottled up and then boiling over 5 years later (and bringing up all the unhappiness over the last 5 years) is not going to help. Ask yourself if you are happy with what your spouse is doing, or if something can be improved. Maybe each of you can make a list of things to improve (and good points about your spouse which you like), and then share them with each other. Being open and honest is always the best policy. 4. Pursue interests independent of each other. You must continue to grow as individuals so that you do not feel that your spouse is holding you back – and he or she can continue to respect you for the new things that you learn or the new skills that you develop. Both also bring new things to talk about to the dinner table. This is especially important if either of both of you married early and did not have sufficient opportunities to explore the world, experience life or achieve the things you wanted to while you were single and younger. 5. Expect your spouse to be different: No two persons are the same, and being married doesn’t mean having each other to yourselves and cutting off the rest of the world. It does not mean you both have to like the same movies, music, food, fashion, and vacation destinations. Celebrate your differences – imagine how boring it would be to be married to someone totally similar to you: you would have married yourself! 6. People change: Most people evolve and change over time, and your spouse is most likely no exception. You will change as well as you grow older, mature and encounter new life experiences. Both parties will have to accept that the individual they married will not remain the same, and both have to learn how to adapt to these changes. 7. Behaving in public: Probably the best advice is never to argue with each other in public, in front of friends and relatives. There is almost nothing that a married couple cannot discuss with each other privately without washing their dirty linen in public. Putting each other down, calling each other names, listing all the bad habits, or telling your friends about the nasty things that your spouse said to you last week isn’t going to help you or your spouse. If you feel that your spouse if getting out of hand during a party or gathering, pull him or her aside to talk about it. Establish a prior agreement never to argue about personal matters in public, that humor has its limits (some people tend to joke about private things and not know when to stop), never to speak about each other’s living habits at home, etc. 8. Managing an unreasonable spouse - be direct, straightforward and hold your ground, be reasonable but not angry. Easier said than done, but every time you manage to do this in an argument, you will almost surely reap the benefits. Try to reason with facts, as facts are undisputable and help win arguments. Be firm, but try not to lose your temper as being angry, raising your voice or throwing things around usually does not improve the situation or help your cause.
A main reason why women find relationships with men challenging (and vice-versa, of course) is that women don’t understand men (the converse is again true). If you are a woman finding difficulty in captivating your man, and making him fall in love with you, don’t worry. Talking to your girlfriends might not be the best option, unless they are professional relationship therapists or have successful relationships themselves. Bob Grant, L.P.C, Licensed Professional Counselor, therapist, and relationship coach, aka “The Relationship Doctor”, can help. Read his book: The Women Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.
Bob’s book will teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship easily and effortlessly by being yourself. Discover how to tap into the power that resides within you, whether you want to revolutionize your dating life, get married or spark the fire within your marriage. More great books by the same author:
Relationships with parents Relatives can be very difficult to manage. Grandparents always seem to “pop by” your home at the wrong times, spoil the grandchildren by giving them gifts or circumventing your authority (and thus undermining it), disrupt your routines and schedules, and upset your spouse. They tend to complain about everything from health, death and dying to money, and try to exert a subtle (could even be overt, which is worse) influence over their own children as a way to maintain control. In his book, Dr Viscott identifies lovely ways to manage parents and in-laws.
How to Make Winning Your Lifestyle
These include having each spouse handle their own parents, turning guilt on them instead of being made to feel guilty, anticipating their responses and dealing with it, not being afraid to negotiate, being clear about what you can and cannot tell your parents, setting limits and taking a stand. Abusive relationships Not all relationships are healthy, amiable, reconciliable or wrapped in tender loving care. If a relationship is abusive (physically, emotionally or sexually), seek help immediately.
Connect to a Professional Counselor today!
Whether it is an abusive parent, partner, spouse, relative, guardian or anyone else, you are not alone (see statistics of abuse). It is absolutely the right thing to do to seek help from other friends or relatives – no matter who you are, no one deserves to be abused. If you feel you need professional help, you are also not alone – there are many organisations that can help. Many people wrongly endure abuse, deny that they are victims of violence or are simply too afraid to tell others or seek help. It is time to face this issue head-on, and you should do it right now. Here are resources to help you end abuse:
Remember, managing relationships is not a one-off task. It is a continuous improvement process, like what we here at PIH always advocate. Relationships are often challenging, and dynamic. Decide which relationships are the most important to you, which ones you want to improve on, and work on it. Taking small steps at a time is advisable, as the people involved might get unduly shocked, alarmed or concerned at your sudden change in attitude, actions or enthusiasm towards them. Additional resources 1. Website that focuses on abuse within families 5. More info on managing relationships between couples 6. Lots of tips for family relationships More resources 1. Liveperson.com This website gives you instant access to hundreds of experts online, with a price per minute charge. For example, you can have access to a range of professional counsellors and medical doctors for an online chat at a price of, for example, $1.79 per minute. Prices range between $1.50 and $3.00.
2. Browse through wide range of products in our PIH InfoMart or search for relevant books in our PIH Bookshop.
You can also find more resources and information in our "Additional Resources" page.
* Disclaimer: This section only provides a point of view and information. It does not represent or constitute professional advice on individual relationships – if you are looking for these please seek alternative professional help through our links to professional resources provided herein, or through other means. We cannot be held accountable in any way for any loss or damage arising from individual actions. |
